Sometimes You Have To Take A Step Back

          Sometimes when you love someone so much  you can see that instead of helping them work through their issues being with you is just creating a bigger strain, you need to take a step back. Its not always easy because you never know how things will end up. The possibility of them never coming back to you is enormous. If you love them though you would give them their space.

             Love is a game that we play  and the odds are often stacked against us but sometimes we have to take that risk and let go. We like to think that because we offer that shoulder to lean on or that listening ear that we are a great comfort to our loved ones but sometimes we make the burden even heavier.We sometimes place those that we loved smack dab in the middle of their issues and us which often leaves them torn and confused. They may say that we aren't crowding them or making things difficult for them but be realistic, often times we know that it is just because they do not want to hurt our feelings.

              I believe if the love that is shared with you and that person is real and is meant to be then he or she will carry that with them and when they are completely healed they will be back. You need to take a step back  and allow them to go through their healing process for only then can you be sure if what is there is real. However before you take a step back make sure that he or she knows that you're still there for them if they need you at least for a time, because we all know that some people try to sucker you.

                 It may be a risk but don't be afraid to let them go for a while for what is meant to be will be.

               

One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

        A friend recently told me that "Just because one door closes, doesn't mean its the end just look around you for you will be sure to find the new door that has opened." Even though this phrase is so cliche it is also so true.

         Things don't always end up as we want it. Be it in our relationships, our jobs or in school. We don't always enjoy the end result, however who is to say its the end of the road? Only we can determine whether we sit down and cry over what we have lost or pick ourselves up and push ahead.

            I was raised to believe that everything happens for a reason. That God has written the plan for our lives before we were even born so he knows what obstacles we are to face however,how we get over them is completely up to us and our faith in him.


            To often we sit down and plan out our lives not keeping in mind that what we want may not be in Gods big plan for us. So when that man/woman in our lives turns out not to be the right one we want to give up on love all together forgetting that the right person that God has for us is still out there. Sometimes he or she is right there but we are so caught up in the past that we bypass them completely. When we get fired from that job we worked so hard on we act as if the world has come to an end disregarding the fact that there may be a better job out there for us all we have to do is look around .

         Everyone encounters that moment when it becomes necessary to let go of the past and look to the future it may be hard but it is necessary. If we continue to cling to what could have been we will lose out on what is meant to be. You can't live your life filled with regrets from the past so always look for that open door and walk right through it.

           

           

         

Speak Out (Who is to blame?)

             There is something seriously wrong with society today when even the children are not safe. There are people out there that have so much evil in their hearts that they think nothing of harming our little darlings.
How could a father molest and kill his own two year son? How can a man kill his mother then walk into an elementary/primary school and kill twenty, five and six year olds? The sane among us sit and wonder "What the hell are we coming to?"

                  Americans say that America has gone crazy, Bahamians say the Bahamas has gone crazy and I'm sure that when kids are harmed in other countries they say the same. But it is not just an American or Bahamian thing that is happening. Injustices against children are happening every day in the majority if not all of the countries around the world. Truth is the whole world has gone crazy and has turned it's back on our precious babies.

                    The thing about human beings is that we too like to play the blame game. We blame the politicians, we blame the church, we blame the schools but the last place we ever place any blame is on ourselves.What do we expect to happen when we sit back and allow a twenty plus year old man to carry on a relationship with a 14 year old and to get her pregnant. This right here should never have been allowed to happen. I know sometimes kids sneak around but from the day you as a parent found out who she was pregnant for charges should have been filed and he should have been arrested. Obviously he is a child molester, that girl wasn't even close to the age of consent. The child is now here and Daddy is allowed to babysit at times. Two years later the boy is dead and evidence of molestation is found and all of this happened while in the molester... oops sorry Daddy's care. Who can we blame people? He molested mommy for shes is now only 15 years old why did we feel that it was safe for him to have unsupervised visits. That man was supposed to be incarcerated two years ago....now hes incarcerated but an innocent child is dead and this could have been avoided if we had just done it the right way from the beginning. The parents/guardians of that girl have no one to blame but themselves. In fact the whole community is responsible.

                 
                               In Sandy Hook Connecticut  a young man armed with assault guns found in his home marched into an elementary school and shot 20 little angels. I cried that day even though I did not know any of those kids, it was the idea of a grown man deciding that those children didn't need to live before their lives even started that bothered me the most. Who dropped the ball on this one? Was it the  U.S. government with their slack gun laws? Was it the mother who owned the guns and took him to the range? Or was it Daddy dearest that left his child with an unstable woman because obviously to have assault weapons in her home her mental health can be questioned. I vote for all of the above. As humans we have to learn to take responsibility for all of the things that we do and accept the consequences. Twenty angels are dead because all of these people dropped the ball.

                               Like I mentioned earlier injustices against children is a problem all over the world. In the middle East children are sold as slaves and used  as prostitutes. In some countries they are trained to be soldiers and placed in the front line where they act as shields for the adults. Children are so innocent and instead of us playing the blame game or acting as if we don't see the crimes against them lets speak out. Let us do the humane thing and report what we can to the proper authorities and work towards keeping our children safe. They can't defend themselves so let us do it for them and then maybe there won't be a dead two year old boy molested and killed by his father or 20 dead five and  six year olds.


 

                         

Life is to Important!

              Never in all my 27+  years on this earth have I  seen so many suicides or attempted suicides  here in The Bahamas as I have recently. It may seem a little bit harsh but I have to say this to those of you that feel like things are so bad that you can't bare to go on and you want to take your own life I have to say.....STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND HAVE SOME LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY. If  God didn't love you and have a propose for you then you wouldn't be here and there are people in your life that love you  that would be badly hurt because you so selfishly took your own life.

               So many children out there  are forced to grow up with out a mother or father just because their parents/parents were so selfish that they could not see past their own grief and troubles. When the death is being reported people always come on and tell the reporters that he or she was depressed because they were out of a job or the bills kept piling up. People that knew the dead person  never forget to talk about how dedicated they were to their family. Like really you're dedicated? Isn't it going to be harder for your kids if your're not around? Who  is going to raise them? Who is going to help the family member that is left? Everything we do affects those around us. It is selfish of us to only think about ourselves and the pain that we are feeling.

             
                  Now a days even the teenagers are trying to kill themselves. Your life hasn't even started yet  why would you be so anxious to end it. I know life is not always easy for some of them but to take
your own life when you don't even know what God has in store for you yet is just to sad. To that young lady that tried to take her life because a guy broke her heart, all I can say to that is how in the world could you lower yourself  to the extent that being with a guy means more to you than  you living your life and achieving your dreams?

                     We as human beings need to realize our self worth. To often we base our happiness on the opinion of others or on being with someone. We are all precious gems hand crafted by God, created with a purpose that only him can reveal. God created us in his likeness, he sent his son to die for us so that we may live. He is our refuge in times of storm. I pity those of you that instead of turning to him for help feel like you have to take  matters into your own hands. Though we may be stressed and feel unloved or like the world is against us it  is never so. God is always walking besides us but we have to learn to turn to him. He can't help us if we don't let him in. I'm been down before. I've been tired and there was a time when I couldn't see my way out but I trusted him and he lifted me up. Life was never promised to be easy but put your hand in his and then you will realize just how much life has to offer you and trust me you will want to stick around.


Word to the wise love yourself so much that your life becomes to valuable to take away. Don't ever let the problems win. Don't give up on life until it gives up on you.

Forgive for You

     Usually I write down in my book what I have to say before I blog so as to avoid being all over the place  but today I'm just going to write directly on my blog so forgive me if  I'm a little bit mixed up.


    Over the last few years I have been making peace with myself and those that have wronged me in the past and I can say what a refreshing experience it is to be able to let go of all of that baggage and move on. I now have better relationships with most of those people especially my father. We communicate more and although he is still stingy and still can't remember my birthday I found that when I forgave all of the wrong that he did to me I was able to actually find something in him that I love.

       I was able to do it but it is not always that easy for some people because what they have gone through is so extreme that the scars can linger for a long time. Many people are scarred for life by those around them that are supposed to love and protect them.There are people out there that have had their innocence ripped away from them as children. They had to endure the pain alone for there was no one there to hear them cry for help .

         It's not easy to forgive an uncle or cousin that raped you. Its not easy to forgive a mother or father that neglected you or abused you.Its not easy to forgive that parent, grandparent or friend  that knew what was going on yet they sat down  and did nothing about it because they didn't want to bring shame on the family. The only shame was it being allowed to go on for so long without the law being notified. It's not easy to forgive our wrongdoers but it is NECESSARY for you for your well being .


           I would like to take a page from Tyler Perry. Forgiveness is a common theme discussed in his plays and his movies. In Madea Goes to Jail a character says "when we don't forgive people we give them power over our life....they get to sleep at night while we walk around remembering everything that they have done." They have no worries for most of the time those that have wronged us refuse to even acknowledge it, so no matter what they do they still have done nothing wrong. The character goes on to say "The longer you hold on to the pain and the past, the longer you keep yourself from being free." This is so true for you can never shake your burden if you don't move on and the only way to move on is by forgiving those that have wronged you. When you carry burdens for to long you begin to find ways to try and bury the pain and often times what you find often lead to even more hurt and sometimes worst; death. It is necessary to forgive because this is the only way that you can help y

             Tyler Perry himself says "If you have all of this unforgiveness in your heart for situations it can sit inside of you and make you become someone else." When you've been affected by certain circumstances forgiveness is the way to get rid of all of that anger that you have. I'm not saying it will be easy but like I said and I will keep saying ....it is necessary. Your survival and peace of mind depends on it.



           I will never tell you that the road to forgiveness is an easy one but I can tell you that you should not attempt it alone. Always take Gods word with you.With prayer, your Bible and  a willing heart you can put all things behind you and move forward. Don't let the pain from the past define who you will be in the present, don't let it make you bitter and hateful. Instead take the past file it away in lessons learnt, hold your head up, smile and move towards your goal for although your wings have been broken with forgiveness you can soar again.