Forgive for You

     Usually I write down in my book what I have to say before I blog so as to avoid being all over the place  but today I'm just going to write directly on my blog so forgive me if  I'm a little bit mixed up.


    Over the last few years I have been making peace with myself and those that have wronged me in the past and I can say what a refreshing experience it is to be able to let go of all of that baggage and move on. I now have better relationships with most of those people especially my father. We communicate more and although he is still stingy and still can't remember my birthday I found that when I forgave all of the wrong that he did to me I was able to actually find something in him that I love.

       I was able to do it but it is not always that easy for some people because what they have gone through is so extreme that the scars can linger for a long time. Many people are scarred for life by those around them that are supposed to love and protect them.There are people out there that have had their innocence ripped away from them as children. They had to endure the pain alone for there was no one there to hear them cry for help .

         It's not easy to forgive an uncle or cousin that raped you. Its not easy to forgive a mother or father that neglected you or abused you.Its not easy to forgive that parent, grandparent or friend  that knew what was going on yet they sat down  and did nothing about it because they didn't want to bring shame on the family. The only shame was it being allowed to go on for so long without the law being notified. It's not easy to forgive our wrongdoers but it is NECESSARY for you for your well being .


           I would like to take a page from Tyler Perry. Forgiveness is a common theme discussed in his plays and his movies. In Madea Goes to Jail a character says "when we don't forgive people we give them power over our life....they get to sleep at night while we walk around remembering everything that they have done." They have no worries for most of the time those that have wronged us refuse to even acknowledge it, so no matter what they do they still have done nothing wrong. The character goes on to say "The longer you hold on to the pain and the past, the longer you keep yourself from being free." This is so true for you can never shake your burden if you don't move on and the only way to move on is by forgiving those that have wronged you. When you carry burdens for to long you begin to find ways to try and bury the pain and often times what you find often lead to even more hurt and sometimes worst; death. It is necessary to forgive because this is the only way that you can help y

             Tyler Perry himself says "If you have all of this unforgiveness in your heart for situations it can sit inside of you and make you become someone else." When you've been affected by certain circumstances forgiveness is the way to get rid of all of that anger that you have. I'm not saying it will be easy but like I said and I will keep saying ....it is necessary. Your survival and peace of mind depends on it.



           I will never tell you that the road to forgiveness is an easy one but I can tell you that you should not attempt it alone. Always take Gods word with you.With prayer, your Bible and  a willing heart you can put all things behind you and move forward. Don't let the pain from the past define who you will be in the present, don't let it make you bitter and hateful. Instead take the past file it away in lessons learnt, hold your head up, smile and move towards your goal for although your wings have been broken with forgiveness you can soar again.

                 
           

Adam & Eve

In the beginning there was Adam and Eve.....


           God made Eve from Adams rib therefore they were two parts of a whole. Eve loved Adam so much that she wanted to share everything with him, hence her offering him the fruit  of the tree of knowledge. Also Adam  loved Eve so much that he was willing to disobey God for her.

       In 21st century terms every man out there has a woman that has been made and designed for him and the same goes for every woman there is a man out there just for her. However it is not always easy for them to find each other.

         With that said men if you find yourself with a woman that makes your life miserable and doesn't appreciate you, do not waste your time and for heaven sake do not marry her for that is not who God has for you. I'm so tired of seeing people trapped in an unhappy marriage because they went out and married the first thing they fell for.  She is definitely not your Eve. Likewise women if a man mistreats you, abuses you and makes you cry he is not your Adam.

           Keep in mind guys and gals that no one in their right mind abuses and mistreats themselves and and if you are a part of them that makes you one. The Bible tells you that when a man and woman marries that they become one but don't wait until you've already committed yourself in marriage to realize that you got the wrong one. Observe the signs, they are usually there from the beginning. Find that person that completes you, do not settle until you've found your Adam/Eve.


          The goal in life when it comes to love is to live happily ever after or as close to it as we can get, for no one is perfect. We can not accomplish this if we are involved with the wrong person. To often we don't realize what I call the Adam and Eve complex and we end up in divorce court...this is seen in the countless amounts of marriages that the celebrities that we admire so much run in and out. We should not model our lives around them but instead seek to find that person that we share a rib with.  I haven't found my soul mate yet but I refuse to settle for less than a man that who lives to see a smile on my face. That man is my Adam.





    

It's The Little Things That Count!

            This is food for thought boys and girls!

    As human beings we place so much emphasis on material things in a relationship that  we forget all about the relationship itself  and exactly what being in a real relationship and in love means.

      

               Take Valentines Day for example very few ladies do not anticipate this day. They know that this is the day that they will receive those big basket filled with loads of cheap goods that cost men more than they are worth. This is also the day when they are taken out to the most expensive restaurants and wined and dined never mind that homeboy may not be able to afford it. There were a lot of women depressed or angry because they weren't the recipients of such pleasures. With this being said I ask  this question "What is the big deal?" I see nothing wrong with receiving gifts but why do we make it mandatory for our men to dig so deep in their pockets just to please our egos knowing full well that in this day and time so many of them cannot afford it. Is it because we define love by the material things that we get?

                     Personally I appreciate the little things. I adore having my feet rubbed or dinner cooked for me or even having my guy clean the house so that I have one less thing to worry about. As women we should not put so much pressure on our men just so we can brag about what we got to our friends or post pictures up on some social network. Being in a relationship and in love means so much more than this it means doing things for each other that matter and come from the heart .

                      I am just going to put this little piece in for the guys because some of you only try to show love on Valentines Day. I don't know if it is because you feel to macho or you're just clueless as to what it is that you are suppose to be doing but let me educate you. Gift giving , dinner dates and other romantic gestures are not only for Valentines Day. Love should be shown all year round. Everyday you should tell your woman that you love her, tell her that she is beautiful and show her that she is the most important thing in your life. This is needed, she should never have to guess. Its the little things that you do that keeps the relationship going. I know as a woman, I appreciate those surprise phone calls in the middle of the day just because, or those kit kats and bounty's because he knows that I have a huge sweet tooth. Love your woman all year round.

            

                  Now ladies back to you why is it that only the guys are expected to pull off the romantic gestures? Get off your butts and make your man feel special. Send him a gift, rub his feet, treat him to dinner. Make it about him sometimes...it should not always be about you.  It should not always be about what you want.

                     Finally I say showing love does not always have to be expensive... think about little things that you can do together. A picnic under the stars in the back yard, movie night at home, giving each other massages, a candle lite dinner at home, hand written love notes left around the house and in clothing are a few things that can be done. Take a page from Alicia Keys song"If I ain't got you" shes says she doesn't want all of the money and the gifts all she wants is to be with her guy. Remember if it is true love the material things are just bonuses that you can do without, its the love and the little things that count.